Showing posts with label Emotional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional. Show all posts
How many months have passed since the last time I was here? I've not lost track of time, merely too occupied with the ticking clock. 
And too occupied with my immense pride. 

No, not only male has that pride and ego shit. If it's scientifically proven that only male has it, then I must be a male. How difficult it is to drop your pride and ego to admit you're in the wrong? For me, it IS difficult and I casually associate it to my "princess" attitude. C'mon, who am I kidding to even label this unlikable and juvenile attitude to "princess" when fairy tale is clearly a conjured up space. Nothing to do with being a princess or not, I am just being me, this immature side of me. 

I don't throw around the word sorry easily. It is a good thing if you look at it from this angle - I'm not that person who says sorry just to avoid any argument when I don't mean it from the bottom of my heart. But the reason I don't utter sorry is simply attributed to my highly held pride and ego. 

A night's sleep is therapeutic indeed. It wakes me up, non-literally. 
A wake up call. 
And I hope it's never too late. Because who knows when who will be tired of dealing with my shit and decide to make a move. 

People may say I've changed him, but the changes I've undergone because of him... I'm seeing a better me, for him and the ones who love me and I don't know how long I'd take to realize that I need to change if I was not with him. 

Sorry.
Sorry for doubting you. That's the last thing you deserve from me when you've never doubted me even when people around you said the worst of that me who was locking hands with someone else. 
Sorry for letting emotions get the better of my reasoning skill.
Sorry for not saying sorry earlier.
I'm learning to, as you can see. 

At times, I just stare out of the window & affix my eyes on no particular thing in preference. In this way, I rest my worn out mind. Staring into blank is a form of relaxation. Thereafter, my mind starts wandering & wondering. 

The direction of my thoughts today. I may be emotional but I'm a true believer of self-independence. Sometimes, I blurred the lines of being self-independent and being distant. I snap out within a split second. If I don't feel needed or required, I turn & walk straight out, without a tinge of emptiness or reluctance. But if a situation or person reveals their appreciation of my presence, I devote my best without any reservation. Believing in my self worth, I don't depend my happiness on anyone because I find happiness in too many things. The mere sight of fluffy clouds, my parents' squabbling, an elderly couple holding hands, a smile from a stranger, a pedestrian jay-walking hastily. Anything, anyone, any scent, any sound, I find a reason to discover the happiness in it. 

Someone once told me I'm pessimistic, but I'd say perhaps you don't know me well enough, perhaps you haven't seen my unexpected & unexplained smile when I'm out alone. I'm reticent about expressing my inner thoughts out loud, so I'm not surprised if anyone thought they understand me, in my entirety. 
Whoever said dreams are the opposite of realities is a liar. I dreamt of you again, Princess. In my dreams, you were sick. So fragile. But, you recovered. In reality? No, you didn't.
 
My weekends were so packed I even had to set alarms on both days, something I don't usually do because I wish for my weekends to be less hectic. Moreover, it's sufficient to be setting alarms on 5 out of 7 days in a week right? Last weekend was packed with meaningful activities and I didn't have sufficient sleep on both Fri & Sat nights. The waking up early part was a feat, it was the sleeping late the night before part that made me really grouchy for not having ample beauty sleep.

Anyway, Redbull, shell & I accompanied wy for her monthly medical check-up and her bb is 14 weeks old which means WE CAN KNOW THE GENDER! A bb BOY! Now we can buy gender specific things. 

Indescribable emotions the moment this appeared on the flat screen. This was my first time seeing a new life that has yet to be brought to earth. Every thing so fragile, precious and amazing contained in this little new life. I was left bewildered seeing how big this little bb is despite how wy's weight has been dropping since her pregnancy. You continue growing healthily, little bb. But at the same time, try to spare your mummy as little agony as possible. Be healthy, both you precious darlings.

The rare day wy's appetite grew.
We had lunch at Saveur. Disappointed at the basmati rice with chicken roulade. The rice was watery and less rich. Their rice was one of my favs. The seabass, duck confit & pistachio dessert maintained the standard though I'm kinda sick of Saveur for the time being. The downside of having it too frequently. 

Right after Saveur, we Q up for Sushi Bar at fep while shell went for her waxing which is just opposite. By the time she was done, it was our turn. Yes, the Q is always long. But we were rewarded with food that was worthy of the Q. 





Had 2 plates of this salmon aburi. Am gonna try the soft shell crab salmon aburi the next time.

Their sirloin steak is a must try! 

Sunday was healthy trekking day at Bukit Timah Hill with the couple who was late. Redbull & I went ahead with the trekking by ourselves and halfway through, they called to say they were on their way so we took the same route back to the main road. 

A productive weekend. More of such weekends. 
The momentum of constantly going on food hunting trips has decreased, sadly. But last week, the predators are unleashed, finally. Almost missed our stop if not for Redbull's sharp observation skills as Hungrygowhere's credibility failed us for the first time. I always relied on hgw for addresses & it stated that Saveur is at Purvis St but turns out it is right outside fep. 

Expected the Q especially when a dining place specifically mentions it doesn't take in reservations. 

But technology saved the day: we skipped the boredom of staying in the Q as they rang us up while we were window shopping at fep once our table was ready for our possession. 



Saveur's Pasta
Nothing to rave about as this tastes like ordinary dry maggie mee which is nice but doesn't taste like pasta at all despite looking like one. 

The next 3 mains we ordered were impressive. Delicious & very affordable plate-licking dishes.
Duck's Confit
Not a big fan of mashed potato but this was the exception. The duck was well marinated. 

I couldn't decide which was my favorite. Duck confit or this. The creamy basmati rice made a non-supporter of rice like me went bonkers. I'm definitely going to order an extra side dish of basmati rice the next time we go. 

Pan-seared seabass
The challenge in using any other method aside from steaming to cook any fish is to retain the moisture within. This challenge seemed to be a feat to the chefs at Saveur. 

Wanted to try the Choc & Hazelnut but it was oos (it must be really good) so we opted for Pistachio Panna Cotta which was uniquely delighting. The pistachio flavored dessert reminded me of the pistachio cupcake my siz baked which was equally satisfying for me. 

We caught About Time at Shaw and it left the sentimental us tearing. I was still crying when I left the theater & this bully just loves to make it worse by narrating the sad scene to me knowing that I'd cry yet asking me to hush then repeated the scene again. 

It left me thinking, if I was the one born with the ability to travel back to the past, what would I choose? To hold on to the everlasting chances to relive all the moments spent with my dad or bid goodbye to him for the last time in exchange for the creation of my own child? A real dilemma I'll never find an answer to.
13 Apr 2013 was an unforgettable day for many of us; the soldiers and their families. Never did I utter any complaint about having to wake up at 530AM on that day because it held a very significant purpose. It was Redbull's BMT graduation ceremony after 9 weeks in Tekong.

Redbull's company reached Marina Floating Bay at 315AM but there were other companies which only arrived at the same time we did, some later than us.

A sight of marching soldiers.

Waiting for the ceremony to commence. Morning air sure did smell exceptionally fresh that day. 

Weather was good that day with the grey clouds only appearing where the sun was - Lady Luck sure was shining on us!

Redbull's parents & I sure had a hard time trying to spot Redbull in the midst of SO MANY soldiers who looked the same to us from afar. With the same army helmets, tanned skin (mostly), uniforms, it was definitely a challenge. 

Salute to all the soldiers who give their all in serving our nation. 

AND FINALLY WE SPOTTED HIM! Swear I tried my very best to keep my composure. Really wanted to do a fist pump in the air man!
Over here, they were doing the BMT macho cheer (I think this is what it's called) which I find it really hilarious.

Reunite with your families session!
The man who has a heartfelt story behind his life. 

Sir

Sir

My favorite picture taken of him that day. 

Redbull looked like a creepy ti gor pek creeping up behind some young girls here. 

Just like how it appears in this picture, Redbull was introducing me to everyone we met. He never fails to make me feel like the only special one. 

Meet the twins who are totally not related. What an uncanny resemblance! 

Finally, home sweet home. 

Can't emphasize how much pride I have in you for having completed your BMT phase with so much faith & dignity. Remember all the precious values & principles that you've learnt during the period in Tekong and put them to good use. Like every other phases in life, we'll look forward to the next one with all the happiness beaming within us. We're the ones who decide whether every phase is there to bring us down or lift us up. With all the certainty, I can say it has always been and will continue to be the latter for us.
Yet another huge milestone in life - selection of our future home. Still in shock, a positive shock. Never have I thought about purchasing a house at this age which I do consider young. Of course we've countless common plans in mind but realizing them is definitely another whole new level of, living.

"When you love someone, you don’t leave them even when they’re at their worst, you don’t give up even when the world concludes your other half as hopeless, you stick with them and you do everything for them even at that time when they can do nothing for you. Cause that’s what love means. Giving when you receive nothing, staying when everyone left, loving without being loved and sometimes it means choosing them over everything, even yourself."

Beautiful & touching words are always easier said than done but I'll do my best to deliver this line of thought through actions, to you.


Serving NS is a part of every Singaporean guy's life, Redbull's too. Before yesterday, I've never thought that I would feel as down & emotional as I have felt. It's a mixture of complicated emotions; proud of my pillar of strength who is going to develop physically & mentally, sad that we can't text each other for the entire day every single day, that we can't get to spend time with each other anytime we want to, all that we used to do will be restricted to a large extent now.

The only thing that kept me happy was seeing how well he's taking it, unlike some of the guys who looked like it's the end of the world.

Every night, I'll keep you in my prayers, pray for the strength & faith to be given to you. I've figured it out, that the only way which I could be of any help to you now is to be strong so that you can pour out to me all the difficulties & unhappiness you may face during this period.

|| Missing & loving you, just like I always have been ||









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