How many months have passed since the last time I was here? I've not lost track of time, merely too occupied with the ticking clock.
And too occupied with my immense pride.
No, not only male has that pride and ego shit. If it's scientifically proven that only male has it, then I must be a male. How difficult it is to drop your pride and ego to admit you're in the wrong? For me, it IS difficult and I casually associate it to my "princess" attitude. C'mon, who am I kidding to even label this unlikable and juvenile attitude to "princess" when fairy tale is clearly a conjured up space. Nothing to do with being a princess or not, I am just being me, this immature side of me.
I don't throw around the word sorry easily. It is a good thing if you look at it from this angle - I'm not that person who says sorry just to avoid any argument when I don't mean it from the bottom of my heart. But the reason I don't utter sorry is simply attributed to my highly held pride and ego.
A night's sleep is therapeutic indeed. It wakes me up, non-literally.
A wake up call.
And I hope it's never too late. Because who knows when who will be tired of dealing with my shit and decide to make a move.
People may say I've changed him, but the changes I've undergone because of him... I'm seeing a better me, for him and the ones who love me and I don't know how long I'd take to realize that I need to change if I was not with him.
Sorry.
Sorry for doubting you. That's the last thing you deserve from me when you've never doubted me even when people around you said the worst of that me who was locking hands with someone else.
Sorry for letting emotions get the better of my reasoning skill.
Sorry for not saying sorry earlier.
I'm learning to, as you can see.
