When words get the best of me
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At times, I just stare out of the window & affix my eyes on no particular thing in preference. In this way, I rest my worn out mind. Staring into blank is a form of relaxation. Thereafter, my mind starts wandering & wondering.
The direction of my thoughts today. I may be emotional but I'm a true believer of self-independence. Sometimes, I blurred the lines of being self-independent and being distant. I snap out within a split second. If I don't feel needed or required, I turn & walk straight out, without a tinge of emptiness or reluctance. But if a situation or person reveals their appreciation of my presence, I devote my best without any reservation. Believing in my self worth, I don't depend my happiness on anyone because I find happiness in too many things. The mere sight of fluffy clouds, my parents' squabbling, an elderly couple holding hands, a smile from a stranger, a pedestrian jay-walking hastily. Anything, anyone, any scent, any sound, I find a reason to discover the happiness in it.
Someone once told me I'm pessimistic, but I'd say perhaps you don't know me well enough, perhaps you haven't seen my unexpected & unexplained smile when I'm out alone. I'm reticent about expressing my inner thoughts out loud, so I'm not surprised if anyone thought they understand me, in my entirety.
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